What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

HELLO

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Have you ever had sex with your husband's friend in front of your husband? Please tell about it and elaborate.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What is the dirtiest thing you have witnessed your wife do?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Yes sir it is.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

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No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

After a few moments he returns.

{RING} {RING}

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

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Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Sure no problem officer.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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